DevilishDuck.com has a tagline. You may have noticed it before, or maybe you just don’t notice those types of things. For me, and I think most bloggers out there, we find taglines a way to showcase first time visitors what our writings are all about in just a few simple words. For me, “in a struggle between cynicism & hope” reflects who I am on so many different levels.
It probably all started in those all-to-important years of teenage angst. Everyone’s teenage experiences are different, but yet, so much the same. The daily struggles, being pulled in every direction, while having hope in your future.
In 2005, the Christian rap artist John Reuben put words (and music) to my feelings in his album “The Boy vs. the Cynic.” The album, and it’s title became my rallying cry. This world and our culture try so hard to make us grow up, yet my faith calls me to be like a child in my faith. This has been my daily struggle.
So much of my life is swept up in sports, my faith, and politics — they are my three passions. Anyone who’s a sports fan knows the roller-coaster of cynicism and hope that sports breeds. While those close to me, or who have read between the lines on this blog know my severe dissatisfaction with the institution of religion. There are days where I have hope that our world is on the right path, yet so much of the time, I find myself cynical and hurt by the evils of humankind. Finally, there’s politics. I’ve seen the good that government can bring. I’ve also seen the unnecessary bureaucracy it breeds. I know government isn’t the answer for the worlds problems, but it can be a solution for some of them.
The last few days I’ve been in a really bad funk. I was absolutely disgusted and disappointed in people’s words on my post about a great speech could put food on the table, many of which I had to delete due to the pure racism or intolerance of their words. I was so emotionally drained by the time I went to bed in the very early hours on Saturday morning, and the weight of it all still hasn’t completely lifted.
For some, Barack Obama’s words of hope may just be rhetoric. If you feel that way, that’s your prerogative. I haven’t been burned by a leader I put my trust in who promised me something, yet under delivered or did the opposite. I didn’t live through the assassination era, where leaders who inspired (JFK, Robert Kennedy, MLK) were taken away, thus creating a callused heart for many of their followers. I didn’t live through the watergate era, where the corruption of our highest leaders was unveiled for all the world to see. So, with all that said, Obama does give me hope. Not just because he says something, but because of the movement of people who are finally acting. He has inspired an entire generation of apathetic people into people who will act, not just vote from their lazy-boys and hope for the best, but will truly be public servants.
In addition to the hateful things I read on Friday night, this morning a man doing some repairs to our home brought up the presidential campaign, then offered his thoughts that America wasn’t ready for a woman or a black man as their leader. It’s this opinion that absolutely floors me, and turns me back into a cynic.
I guess right now, I’m just looking for a fresh dose of hope to get out of this funk.
This post is tagged cynicism & hope, Election 2008, Self-Reflection
2 Comments
Tell me what you need and I’ll do my best to provide you with “a fresh dose of hope”.
Oh, and get a new repairman.
I love you Josh.
Josh,
I resonate with much of what you said. I think many of us go from cynic to hopeful in a matter of hours, sometimes minutes.
Having been married now almost 10-years, and the father of two children (5 & 2), I’m beginning to accept the fact that the struggle between cynicism and hope will never go away. It will always be there.
I have days when my kids irritate the hell out of me, and then the next minute all I want to do is squeeze them tight and hope they never grow old. I have days when I love my wife and couldn’t imagine being without her; then I have moments (and I know she does too) where she gets under my nerves! Sometimes I doubt my ability as a Father, and sometimes I doubt my ability as a husband. Other days, I feel good about both.
In my new jobs as an economic developer, I’m right in the middle of the poltical fray between city and county politics. I get to here what’s wrong with this area, and what’s right. Some days I come into work in the morning, stare at my computer and wonder if I can make a difference; sometimes I wonder, “What’s the point?” Then I have other days when I’m filled with hope and can see that I’m affecting good changes, and that people are becoming more accepting of the new kid on the block. (There’s also the weight of knowing that I’m involved in very important decsions that could have positive and negative long-term affects for the community.)
I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. We are all in a battle between cynicism and hope. The elements we deal with are a litle different, but the battle is the same. Read the book of Ecclesiastes and I think you’ll get a sense that Solomon felt much the same way you (we all) do at times.
Blessings…
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